LitPick Review
Coming free is Dr Ashley Abaie's autobiography as many people would say or agree to, but to me it’s her survival story. This book discusses her journey of abandonment, emotional deprivation, maltreatment, childhood trauma, lack of care, an eating disorder, and a hunger for validation to finding strength and healing. Ashley grew up in a family that was emotionally absent. Even with everything falling apart around her, she succeeded in school and was accepted into the College of William and Mary. There she experienced real friendship, care, and validation for the first time. Her life changed when she volunteered on a service trip to Reynosa, Mexico. She served the less privileged and built a home for them, which gave her peace, something she never had before. Ashley began to feel whole for the first time.. Though raised quasi-Muslim, she started reading the Bible and wanted to know more about Jesus. Coming free is not about arriving at perfect ending but about surviving and growing. Ashley doesn’t claim to be fully healed or having all the answers, but she’s choosing to heal, live, and to show up for herself and others even when life is messy.
Opinion:
I had a lot of mixed emotions when reading this book. The book felt very real and honest. It wasn’t like a made-up story to get people to feel sorry for her. Some parts were tough to read, but that’s what made it powerful. Ashley’s story is about pain, getting through hard times, holding onto faith, and trying to figure out who she really is while everything around her was falling apart. What really stood out to me was how much she had to go through just to feel noticed.
One part that really hit me was when her parents wouldn’t pay her college tuition even though they could afford it. They only paid for her room and board and acted like that should be enough. Her mom even told her that back when she, herself, was 18, she had to pay rent to live at her own parent’s house, almost like she expected Ashley to go through the same hardships she did. That really stuck with me because it showed how cold and emotionally distant her parents were. It felt like Ashley wasn’t allowed to have normal needs without being made to feel bad about them.
Her father constantly dismissed her emotions even after she was raped. Can you imagine finally telling your dad something that traumatic and he just acts like it’s not a big deal? That kind of emotional neglect is hard to explain unless you’ve been through it.
What really amazed me was how she still had the heart to help others even after everything she’d been through. Volunteering at orphanages and poor schools in Mexico really changed her. She thought she was going there to help people, but ended up finding peace and a place where she finally felt like she belonged. She met people like David, Chucho, and Joanna, people who truly saw her and loved her for who she was. Her path to Christianity was unexpected. She didn’t grow up Christian, but the love she saw in that mission group made her want to know more. Eventually, she gave her life to God. I really liked the part on page 164 where she basically asked God to prove Himself, kind of like Gideon in the Bible. It didn’t feel fake. It felt honest, like she really wanted to know if God cared. That kind of faith felt strong and real to me.
She went through so much: rape, eating disorders, depression, rejection, being a single mom, and toxic relationships, but she didn’t give up.
Her relationships were really hard to read about. Vitalik, her ex-husband, was awful, unbearable, super controlling, and self-centered. Even when their baby was born, he was basically absent. Then he had the nerve to say he wanted to get her pregnant again and take their son, Eli, to Ukraine while she stayed behind to raise another baby alone. Like… seriously? That was honestly disgusting.
And then there was Joe. He was manipulative, always moody, kept borrowing money from her, and tried to come between her and her son. The part where he gave her a burner phone because she wasn’t allowed to call his real number? That was just straight up emotional abuse. Still, you could tell why she stayed. He made her feel seen when she felt invisible. It was sad, but also something a lot of trauma survivors can relate to.
Then there’s Herman, he was a nightmare. There’s no other word to describe him. He acted nice at first, then would just flip and turn into a complete animal. He was a total nightmare.
Even with all this darkness, there were good parts too. People like Torri and Kyla came into Ashley’s life and showed her real love and support. They were real life angels. They stuck with her through everything and reminded her she mattered. You could really feel things start to change for her when people like that showed up.
The book isn’t perfect and neither is Ashley and that’s what I liked most. She’s still learning and healing. Coming Free is powerful because it’s honest, even about the hard stuff. It’s not a perfect story, but it’s real, and I think a lot of people will see themselves in it. In the end, Ashley became doctor in Arizona, and honestly, I’m proud of her. After everything she went through, she still built a meaningful life. She’s not pretending to be perfect, and that’s what makes the book so good. It’s messy, painful, and inspiring all at the same time.
Explain your content rating:
I chose ‘nothing offensive’ because, while the book deals with serious and sensitive topics like trauma, abuse, and emotional pain, the way I discussed them in my review was respectful, honest, and not inappropriate. I didn’t use offensive language, hate speech, or anything meant to shock readers.
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Read more reviews by this Litpick Book Reviewer: Hannah